The strange relationship between a mother and her daughter-in-law is an age-old saga.
The intense rivalry between the two begins the day the mother gives birth to a baby boy. The mother foresees her future as mother-in-lawhood where she will be replaced by another woman. That other woman will know his favorite food, will rightly guess his favorite color, movies he likes to watch. Even the size of his y-fronts.
Because of this friction, criticizing and undermining the daughter-in-laws comes in-built like a program in the minds of mother-in-laws. However what they tend to oversee is many of them also have daughters who in future will be someone else’s daughter-in-law. As a result, they might face similar docility after marriage.
Still, it changes nothing. On one hand where daughters are encouraged and supported for everything they do, daughter-in-laws continue to be questioned and criticized for the same.
AYT highlights the double-standards employed to ‘bahu’ versus the ‘beti’.
1. When she wears jeans after marriage
Indian stereotype associated to woman wearing jeans is fading, except when they are used by married woman. If a daughter-in-law dares to go out in jeans or any other fashionable outfit, it must be strongly condemned.
2. When she wakes up late someday
It is an obligation for daughter-in-laws to get up early, and this won’t have anything to do with her being unwell. If the rule isn’t followed, she becomes the subject of verbal, and sometimes, physical chastising from her in-laws. On the other hand, daughter continue to be pampered and comforted when she is in the same condition.
3. When she is a working woman and has a job
“Earning is a responsibility that relies on the man of the house.”
Most in-laws prefer their daughter-in-law to not even think about getting a job because their son is already taking care of it perfectly. For them, a job is nothing more than earning money at the end of the month. However, they manage to shake off this perception when it comes to their own daughters and now it becomes a matter of self-dependence.
4. When the husband partakes in some household chores
A mother-in-law cannot stand seeing her son help his wife, but would proudly praise her daughter’s husband for doing the same.
5. When something goes wrong
A daughter’s mistakes are brushed aside. But, if daughter-in-law commits a mistake, not only she is subjected to harsh words, her parents are dragged into discussion and her upbringing is questioned.
“Submissive and demure are the qualities that a mother-in-law expects in her daughter-in-law.”
A daughter-in-law is a relationship established legally. A daughter is your own flesh and blood. Clearly there is a big line here. But, that doesn’t changes the notion that a daughter-in-law can take a daughter’s place and vice versa.
Everyone deserves a chance, especially a woman when she leaves one life to start another.
DISCLAIMER: The aforementioned instances are merely results of an observation and doesn’t not refers to anyone in particular. In fact, we believe the situation is improving and in-laws are able to establish a more comfortable compatibility with their daughter-in-laws nowadays. This blog aims to target the otherwise prejudiced in-laws who continue to contribute towards the stereotype.